Snow Goons

Image

Encounter Conditions

Christmas (2009, onwards)
Etheric

Initial Text

Something terrible catches your eye in the center of the snow-covered Quad. A warped snowman, looking like something yanked from a child's nightmare, glowers at you. Its limbs creak in a way the wind could never manage as you find an even more terrifying sight arranged behind it.


And then, initially:
A mass of snowmen spread through the Quad, packed most tightly near the abandoned dorms. None of the mob seem particularly more or less dangerous than the others.

Or, at higher scariness:
A mass of snowmen spread through the Quad, packed most tightly near the abandoned dorms. At the center of the horde, you see a few snowmen with horns, each staring out with a single coal eye.

Or, at higher scariness:
A mass of snowmen spread through the Quad, packed most tightly near the abandoned dorms. At the center of the horde, you see a small group of snowmen watching the proceedings. Some have horns and a single coal eye, while others stare out with a pair of bulbous eyes like Christmas ornaments.

Or, at higher scariness:
A mass of snowmen spread through the Quad, packed most tightly near the abandoned dorms. At the center of the horde, you see a small group of snowmen watching the proceedings. Some have horns and a single coal eye, while others have too many heads or stare out with a pair of bulbous eyes like Christmas ornaments.

Or, at higher number built:
A great legion of snowmen is arrayed before you, almost covering the Quad in its bulk. A giant snowman looms over the center of the horde. Surrounding him, barely coming up to the top of his first orb, strange snowmen skulk. Some have horns and a single coal eye each, while others stare out with eyes like glassy Christmas ornaments.

Or, after killing the leader:
A great legion of snowmen is arrayed before you, almost covering the Quad in its bulk. The snowmen are gathered around their fallen leader. Nearest the center, you can see a ring of cyclopean horned snowmen, accompanied by snowmen with horrible bulbous eyes resembling glassy Christmas ornaments.


And then:
Snowmen with vicious icicle fangs work their way through the crowd, while the rest are arranged almost worshipfully around the center.

Or, at higher scariness:
Snowmen with vicious icicle fangs work their way through the crowd, while the rest are arranged almost worshipfully around the horned ones.

Or, at higher scariness:
Snowmen with vicious icicle fangs work their way through the crowd, while the rest are arranged almost worshipfully around the giant.

Or, after killing the leader:
Behind them, rows of snowmen with icicle fangs face the melted giant. Others, towards the edge, don't seem capable of looking towards him, staring out into the Quad instead.


And, with enough built or scariness reached?:
(2013) The snowmen's shadows carve strange patterns on the snow, as though tiny snakes had been dancing over the drifts.

(2014 onward) Everyone's snowmen cast strange shadows, carving patterns through the snow like tiny snakes had been dancing over the drifts.


And, with enough hipster entries:
Weaving between the others are a veritable sea of tiny snowmen, barely knee-high.

Or, with even more hipster entries:
Weaving between the others are a veritable sea of student entries. Most are barely knee-high, but others are fully-grown.

Summary of Choices

1. Pick one off - fight a Fresh Snowman
2. Charge a fanged one - fight a Fanged Snowman
3. Approach a horned one - fight a Horned Snowman
4. Rush a staring one - fight a Staring Snowman
5. Cut off the many heads - fight ???
6. Challenge the giant - fight a Towering Snowman
7. Rampage through the little ones - fight a Swarm of Tiny Snowmen
8. Rampage through the big ones - fight 2 Fresh Snowmen
9. Run in terror - Gain 3 XP in Strength
10. Back away slowly - Walk away

Choice Text and Results

Pick one off

You carefully sneak up behind one of the snowmen furthest from the pack and strike from hiding. Before you can land a blow, it spins to meet you with its claw.

Even hindered by its misshapen form it moves with surprising speed, if not grace.

(Fight a Fresh Snowman)

Charge a fanged one

You approach the fanged snowman cautiously, but it turns to you with a sudden shriek. Its icicle fangs glimmer with a strange light as it opens its mouth to reveal an endless windy void.

(Fight a Fanged Snowman)

Approach a horned one

As you approach it, the snowman looks down at you with its single coal eye. You can feel its mocking laughter boiling up from your bones, but its mouthless face remains passive, waiting for you to make the first move.

(Fight a Horned Snowman)

Rush a staring one

The snowman turns to face you, its strange ornament-eyes spinning wildly in their sockets.

(Fight a Staring Snowman)

Cut off the many heads

As you approach the looming figure, it's heads turn towards you as one and open their mouths to bellow out a roar like breaking ice.

(Fight a Manyheaded Snowman)

Challenge the giant

You approach the massive snowman, knowing there's no way to escape notice from its commanding view. The lesser snowmen pull back, offering you a clear path.

Their leader's coal mouth pulls into a twisted smile and you can hear laughter echoing within your head even though the Quad is deathly silent.

(Fight a Towering Snowman)

Rampage through the little ones

You imitate the wordless roar of your favorite kaiju and wade into the midst of the tiny snowmen. They swarm around you, trying to bear you to the ground.

(Fight a Swarm of Tiny Snowmen)

Rampage through the big ones

You rampage through the student entries, passing between two unremarkable specimens… uremarkable, at least, until they raise their clawed arms to embrace you.

(Fight 2 Fresh Snowmen, which turn into a Fuzed Snowmen)

Run in terror

Initially:

You run your fastest, churning through the snow and leaving the student's twisted creations far behind. Thankfully, none of them seem to have followed you.

You take a moment to wipe the snow off your legs because it reminds you of them.

You've earned 3 XP in Strength

Or, after unlocking the snake shadows:

You run your fastest, churning through the snow and leaving the student's twisted creations far behind. Thankfully, none of them seem to have followed you… even those horrifying patterns writhing on the ground, seeming to contain all the students' poured out malice and rage.

You take a moment to wipe the snow off your legs because it reminds you of them.

You've earned 3 XP in Strength

Back away slowly

You manage to keep control of your emotions long enough to escape the snowmen's presence. Thankfully, none of them seem to have followed you.

(Walk Away)

Note

When the scariest snowman on the Abominable Snowman Leaderboard reaches a certain value, scarier snowmen unlock.

Opponent	Conditions
Fanged Snowman	Scariest snowman: 50
Horned Snowman	Scariest snowman: 100
Staring Snowman	Scariest snowman: 250
Towering Snowman	Scariest snowman: 500 and built: > 150
Manyheaded Snowman	Installed 100 snowman heads