Snow Goons 2012



Encounter Conditions

Christmas 2012, replaces Abominable Snowman Competition if Etheric or Slags Poisoning

Initial Text

(Missed earlier messages)

At 382 scariness:

Something terrible catches your eye in the center of the snow-covered Quad. A warped snowman, looking like something yanked from a child's nightmare, glowers at you. Its limbs creak in a way the wind could never manage as you find an even more terrifying sight arranged behind it.

A mass of snowmen spread through the Quad, packed most tightly near the abandoned dorms. At the center of the horde, you see a small group of snowmen watching the proceedings. Some have horns and a single coal eye, while others stare out with a pair of bulbous eyes like Christmas ornaments.

Snowmen with vicious icicle fangs work their way through the crowd, while the rest are arranged almost worshipfully around the center.

Weaving between the others are a veritable sea of student entries. Most are barely knee-high, but others are fully-grown.

Summary of Choices

  1. Pick one off - fight a fresh snowman
  2. Charge a fanged one - fight a fanged snowman
  3. Approach a horned one - fight a horned snowman
  4. Rush a staring one - fight a staring snowman
  5. Challenge the giant - fight the towering snowman
  6. Rampage through the little ones - fight a Swarm of Tiny Snowmen
  7. Rampage through the big ones - fight 2 Fresh Snowmen
  8. Run in terror -
  9. Back away slowly -

Choice Text and Results

Pick one off

You carefully sneak up behind one of the snowmen furthest from the pack and strike from hiding. Before you can land a blow, it spins to meet you with its claw.

Even hindered by its misshapen form it moves with surprising speed, if not grace.

(Fight a Fresh Snowman)

Charge a fanged one

You approach the fanged snowman cautiously, but it turns to you with a sudden shriek. Its icicle fangs glimmer with a strange light as it opens its mouth to reveal an endless windy void.

(Fight a Fanged Snowman)

Approach a horned one

As you approach it, the snowman looks down at you with its single coal eye. You can feel its mocking laughter boiling up from your bones, but its mouthless face remains passive, waiting for you to make the first move.

(Fight a Horned Snowman)

Rush a staring one

The snowman turns to face you, its strange ornament-eyes spinning wildly in their sockets.

(Fight a Staring Snowman)

Challenge the giant

You approach the massive snowman, knowing there's no way to escape notice from its commanding view. The lesser snowmen pull back, offering you a clear path.

Their leader's coal mouth pulls into a twisted smile and you can hear laughter echoing within your head even though the Quad is deathly silent.

(Fight a Towering Snowman)

Rampage through the little ones

You imitate the wordless roar of your favorite kaiju and wade into the midst of the tiny snowmen. They swarm around you, trying to bear you to the ground.

(Fight a Swarm of Tiny Snowmen)

Rampage through the big ones

You rampage through the student entries, passing between two unremarkable specimens… uremarkable, at least, until they raise their clawed arms to embrace you.

(Fight 2 Fresh Snowmen, which turn into a Fuzed Snowmen)

Run in terror

You run your fastest, churning through the snow and leaving the student's twisted creations far behind. Thankfully, none of them seem to have followed you.

You take a moment to wipe the snow off your legs because it reminds you of them.

You've earned 3 XP, randomly distributed.

Back away slowly

You manage to keep control of your emotions long enough to escape the snowmen's presence. Thankfully, none of them seem to have followed you.

See Walk Away


When the scariest snowman on the Abominable Snowman Leaderboard reaches a certain value, scarier snowmen unlock.

Opponent Scariness required
Fanged Snowman 50
Horned Snowman 100
Staring Snowman 250
Rampage through the big ones ~302 (or possibly based on helping the hipsters enough?)
Towering Snowman 500
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